so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
