Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
it hurts more in the daytime
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
