If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
