i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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