ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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