omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
