just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
