FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
