I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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