his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
