I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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