So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
