one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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