I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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