Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
