It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
