My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
