I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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