I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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