So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
