how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
