pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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