is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
