How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Enjoy the penises
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
