We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
