no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
