I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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