we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
