i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize