we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
