My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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