in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
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