Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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