walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize