he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
