i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
