He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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