You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize