I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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