I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
