I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
