i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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