Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
