I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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