There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
