why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
