He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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