I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Well I just put wine in my tea
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
