Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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