Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
