it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
