Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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