so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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