oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
