Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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