His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
