I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
