you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
