Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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