he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
