nut hugger
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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