I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
